This is psychological theory study about understanding Pastors wives’identity based on the concept of Carol Gilligan’s caring. Pastors wives’identity is defined as synthetic concept stated with self,the one by relationship and it’s role knowledge. Personal factors like gender, intellectual capacity, and character are described as personal identity element related with pastors wives’identity variables such as stability,uniqueness, self-acceptance, and goal-directness. Relational factors like family, church, sociocultural and God are divided as relational identity element affecting pastors wives’self-assertiveness and interpersonal role expectation. Carol Gilligan explained female identity as relationship using the idea of caring, women’s character. Female identity development from girl to female is defined as ‘right and responsibility’to ‘self-expression,’‘girl’s psychological risk conflict’to ‘inner voice and silence,’and adult ‘caring’rule to ‘maturity’concept. Female identity development stages are divided as self-centered, selfishness to responsibility, responsibility to self sacrifice,good deeds to reality, and oneself to others stage. Pastors wives’identity is explained as the process of maturity caring oneself and others in Gilligan’s development stages. Therefore in describing pastors wives’maturity, ‘caring’might be discussed with integrated study in God as alternative to deal successfully with the limitation of it’s concept.